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How to Date Successfully

06/18/2023

Answering this question in a Buffalo oriented subreddit:

Moved to Buffalo, New York recently.

Why it’s hard to date here ? What is the best way to date or meet single women without dating apps ?

I haven't had much time to be single in Buffalo but I can say that compared to other places I have lived the place requires more social proof to gain any traction. As others are saying, this town is big on pre-existing relationships, something I owe to the climate which pushes people "in" like 5 months out of the year, garnering a taste for that intimacy.

You don't make any reference to your appeal (sexual or otherwise) so it's tough to give much insight beyond that without that extra framework. Are you a "forager" or a "filterer" of social attention? If you're a "filterer" -- have high appeal -- any of the night life districts would be fine as you'll be folded into quickly just by walking into the door more than two weekends in a row, which would be true of anyplace. Chippewa Street, Allentown, or Elmwood (forgive me in my lameness I am not up to speed on the "real" places if these differ, I'm old and not tuned in entirely). In this case you might as well just be asking for a directory of the fun late night clubs and bars.

But I guess that "filterers" rarely make posts like yours since they are typically overly-saturated, socially speaking, probably too busy fighting off crazy ex partners or working through their latest divorce, or just enjoying it.

So if we assume you're a forager, take in the same nightlife but only after you have developed a network of non-mating-intentional pals. Then enter the districts and clubs I mention and play off each other well enough until the crowd feels comfortable with you to begin cross-communicating. Communicating is essential element number one once you have landed in a serendipitous hyper social environment (or really anywhere, though I am trying to humor the focus here). If you can't pass the test of joining or forming a social group, or in communicating well, that's fine, that just means that there's more work to do.

So, we move on to my personal next big mantra:

Be sure to self-develop something about yourself that is outside the realm of mating/dating at first. "What to do in Buffalo?" -- take college courses, spend money on a hobby and try to turn it into business, discover physical activities unique to the Niagara Falls region (Kayaking seems big, but be remember we have that huge waterfall, so, you know, be careful) and become at least an "enthusiast level expert" at something. Once you have developed yourself well enough to have confidence in it, you'll naturally communicate well, and like water, naturally flow to your own pond with a different kind of appeal. Pulling this off takes discipline, but that only adds to the charm as you develop.

And on my slant, try not to be offended by the distinction of being of one type or another - just certainly know which type you are so that you can formulate honestly and effectively. Nature pays off in the middle for either type.



  By Dave for Personal Blog.

dating buffalo regurgitation

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The Jump On Turnstiles

03/15/2021

Whoa!  Spotted at the Allen Medical Station.  I encountered these new turnstiles wrapped and staged...for implementation?  I need to Google this. 

For the non-Buffalo reader, currently NFTA (Niagra Frontier Transit Authority) uses the honor system for fares.  These pictures suggest we're going to a more conventional turnstile system.  

We're going to get turnstile jumpers!  More and more like New York City each day around here.

Click on each for the full-sized image.

Turnstiles 1

Turnstiles 2

Turnstiles 3

Turnstiles 4



  By Dave for Personal Blog.

buffalo interesting photo

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A Jaunt to the (New) Exchange Street Train Station

08/23/2020

As may have been hinted at by about 15 years of websites and the occasional mention at this blog, I have a fascination with transit rail systems.  Subway systems, light rail, high speed rail -- and to a lesser degree, conventional commuter rail.  Don't ask me to explain the intense specificity (why not freight rail or Amtrak?), I can't.  

Video Pan of Progress on the Exchange Street Station, with Commentary.

Buffalo is building a new train station for its Amtrak NYC cross-feeder called the Exchange Street Station, which is a replacement for the old standing one of several decades, and which goes by the same name.  Today was sunny and warm and, shoot, I showered, so I indulged in some ground footage on how the construction is going, including this video pan with some pretty limp commentary.  

You can check out Buffalo Rising's June 2020 post on the progress for some more insightful exhibition, and its Exchange Street tag for even more.  Tasting this project for content has excited me for its future.



  By Dave for Personal Blog.

Buffalo video

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